I am single and I am happy. Those I have recently dated are amazing men. I have learned several things from them, like knowing how I should be treated in a relationship and how I should (or should not) treat those who I am with.
But the main thing they taught me is that I am happiest single.
For years I have felt pressured by the media and friends that in order to be happy you HAVE to find that special someone, you need to date to be happy. I was pushing myself to find a great guy and say he was THE ONE, so I could feel happy.
I was staying with people, saying I felt something I didn’t and moving as fast as I could to get to that point where I was in what people could consider “long-term relationship status”.
I started realizing it was all for show. I wasn’t feeling the love I should have been. I told my self “love comes softly” (yes cheesy line from that movie). When in reality I wasn’t ready to settle down, to have another person in my life as a partner.
We are told that we need to find love (romantic love, not just friendship) in our lives. People will do anything for the mere thought that what they feel could be love. I haven’t found that yet. One time I thought I had, I let myself be used and hurt for years because I “thought this must be love”.
Why I am happiest single
I want to focus on MY future, MY dreams and goals. I don’t want to worry about hurting or disappointing people when I don’t feel the same. I like seeing someone and thinking “oh he is cute” without hating myself for not being content. I like not having to explain that my guy friends are JUST guy friends. I learn to love myself, in and out. I can discover my passions without being shaped by those who already have theirs. I can map out time for my studies and not feel like I have to make separate time to focus on my partner.
My future may involve meeting a great man (or realizing he is already in my life) and settling down or having adventures with him. But for me, for now, I am happiest single.