Being heard

I have begun to realize, I am no spotlight friend. I am not a spotlight really anything.

I won’t get 100 “likes” on Facebook, my pictures, my blog posts, I won’t get voted for anything important. I’ll never be “important”.

Part of me hates this thought, the idea of not being liked as well as others. I want to be popular, but part of me realizes I’m not wealthy enough to be, I can’t afford the clothes or makeup to be popular, I’m not in a sorority, I don’t have connections.

I wish this was me but I’m having to accept that it’s not. 

I want to be beautiful, I want curves, I want smooth skin, I want to have money to go shopping with. 

At this point I know I can’t have any of this but every day I try. I try to make new friends, but I’m weird, I like odd things. I know if I get a good job I can have the things I want and everyday I’m going to try and make that happen.

I know I’m not popular.

I know I’m not cool. 

But I will make myself how I want to be, or try.